Fragile

He felt there was a hole between his arms
A space filled with air and loneliness
An unwelcome vacancy
Solitude

Even between his fingers, he felt
The coldness of the dry wind
The slight trembling
Hesitation

He knew he that already wanted to hold her
Otherwise, the hole would not be there
He knew it was her hand he wanted to feel
Otherwise, the cold would not be there

He was inside that lake again
Tied down in the darkness
Waiting for the end
Thinking

In the end,
Loving was as scary to him as it was to be loved
Not feeling complete by himself was evil
He could not ask again for someone to complete him
He knew that

But still, it could not be that wrong
To want to hold her in his arms
To desire her warmth
To drown

It did not feel wrong at all

Yes. He was probably...
Just that weak...

Lucas Rangel Lima

No Looking Back

He sat down in his living room,

Waiting for her to get out of shower

Without thinking,

He prepared her some warm tea

And prepared himself a drink

He knew it was not going to be an easy night

How many months since the last time?

How much did he thought about her?

And more important than anything,

When was it that he managed to forget?

Until that same day, 

But a few hours later

Until he saw that woman crying in a corner

So familiar, so changed, so sad

When he realized, she was already in his car

Her story was the same as always

She had not changed at all, still in that same place

It was like it was HIM who left

But he was no kid anymore

He knew that she choose to stay there

Why she disappeared without telling him

And now, it was already too late

She got out of the shower

Ignoring the clothes he had prepared for her

With her wet hair glued to her face

Her red, teary eyes fixed at him

And but a towel covering her body

"Thank you for this...." She said

"It`s not how you think." He answered

He had already decided never again to meet her

No sense in coming back after being left

In his heart, that night was not allowed to happen

And that is what he thought to himself the next day

But still, when she suddenly hugged him

When she cried loudly in his arms,

With her body still warm from the shower

With her hair still wet, smelling like his shampoo

He lost track of his feelings

Embracing her, as he wanted to in the past

They dreamed a night, forbidden

They closed their hearts while opening their bodies

And consoled each other, after hurting and being hurt

The next day, she was given back to her life

To the place she choose to stay, mistaken or not

And he...

He did not look back.

Lucas Rangel Lima

Old Sweetness

For some reason, in that morning
He was not feeling bad in his usual way
He did not want his usual bitter medicine
He just wanted to know

If that old sweetness was really poisonous

He sited down on his ragged armchair
Felt every sore spot in his back aching
And extended his hand for his warm coffee,
Thinking that an extra spoon of sugar
Would be called for today

In his heart, he recalled the previous night
And felt a shard of the sadness he forgot in his youth
A shard of those naive feelings, those silly cravings
Those emotions he had long given up

He smiled a bit, laughing at himself

Somewhere in his heart, he felt glad to discover
That a bit of that hateful boy was still on his heart
That his apathy and cynicism, so painfully obtained
Still had not completely dried him inside

That he could still long for someone else`s warmth

So, thinking deeply about events that caused him this
He took a deep breath, felt his crushing heartbeat
And held them dearly in his being, hidden in a corner
So as to not let it become a weakness

So as not to let the sweetness become a poison

Lucas Rangel Lima