As I Used To

How many times
Have I looked up to the sky
From the top of the cliff
Knowing that I should just jump
That I could just fly and be free

And yet, I stood there
Tied to the ground
Afraid
Of what?
I am not sure
Neither of why

How long has it been
Since the last time I fell?
Since the first time I failed?
Since the fear got so big
So as to make me forget

I know I can fly
I always could
I used to do so
I used to smile
I used to run
I just can't remember

How many times
Have I listened to these songs
With my saxophone in hand
Knowing I could just feel them through me
That I could just play and melt away

And yet, I bit my lips
Frozen without breath
Afraid

The same circle
The same doubts

The same answers

I had forgotten the wind
Ignored the force that could lift me up to the clouds
I had lost my courage
Minded small and foolish details and chances

And without knowing right from wrong
I stagnated
I stopped

Lucas Rangel Lima