Sempre foi Rebelde...

Me diga,
Por que está fazendo isso de novo?
Por que está nos fazendo passar
Pela enésima vez
Pela mesma decepção?

Você não lembra o quanto procuramos?
O quanto fomos despedaçados no passado?
O quanto nos usaram, o quanto fizemos mal?
O erro que é desejar para nós?

Por que você nunca me ouve?
Eu sei que falho em te ajudar,
Mas a culpa não e só nossa
Eu só sei repetir sobre as dores
Que você nos fez passar até hoje

Quem sabia acreditar é você
Eu só sei lembrar de onde sua fé nos levou
Quem desistiu e me deixou dominar
Foi tudo por você, por nós

Então por que você continua?
Por que não permaneceu calado
Como combinamos, como era seguro
O que você viu nela
Que não te fez lembrar
Do quanto você iria temer perdê-la?

Meu coração, meu vazio,
Por que você me obriga a fazê-lo de novo?
Quer que eu te asfixie outra vez?
É esse o seu desejo? Outro afogamento?
Ou uma apunhalada dessa vez?
De quantas formas devo matá-lo
Até que fique satisfeito
E pare de nos fazer sofrer?

Até quando vai confundir nosso egoísmo
Com o amor que eu tanto procurei?

Até quando vou ter que me sentir sozinho
Por ter que enterrá-lo mais outra vez?

Quanto tempo devo esperar
Para que você também aprenda
A ter paciência?

Eu sei.

Nunca.

Lucas Rangel Lima

定めた感情

あいつは
心の中の孤独を封じた
それ以来、一人だとしても
ボッチじゃなかった

楽になった
毎日と毎晩も
問題なくに済ませた
やっと自由になった

けれど
譲れあいつは築いた
心の中にあった封印に
ひびだらけになった

孤独を封じただけで
自分を食いたがっていた穴を
消されることができなかった
自分だけの力は足りなかった

それでもあいつは
もうしばらくそのままで痛かった
昔のように、孤独に操られるのは
もう、いやだった

だから
できる限りまでに
あいつは
一人で続けた

痛くても
昔の過ちをもう犯さないように
今の自分のままで
いて続けた

Lucas Rangel Lima

Under

"Men over emotions."
He thought
"Me over my heart."

Rationality.
Made sense, though not happiness
Made a way, though who knows where

"Somewhere better than here"
He supposed
"Somewhere I feel comfortable"

Loneliness
Was harsh, but not hurtful
Was bitter, but still pleasant

Still, he had it inside him

Emotions no men could be over
He felt
Deep, thoroughly

As irrational as it could be
It was natural. As happiness should be.
It was the way. It didn't matter where.

To a good here, a sweet evening
He assumed
A place normal, special

He had it inside him still.

And no matter how under it was
He actually hoped
That it would always be there.

Lucas Rangel Lima

Just another day, Just another ending

Away from home

Well, the truth is

He didn't feel he had one anymore

The boy sat in a bench under the rain

No other choice there

No place would ever accept him

Chewing on a piece of bread

That he got out of pity

From another person who didn't really care

He tried to keep his body warm

Lying to himself again

His only way of enduring another day

He was tired, after traveling far

After giving up so many times

And seeing no other choice other than walk

So he chose a few songs to sing

As if there was any song he ever loved

That wouldn't hurt him, make him remember

Hoping maybe someone would listen

It wouldn't be that hard to notice, right?

How painful was the scream he was hiding

Hoping that the rain would stop

Or at least, that he wouldn't get sick

And again, have to endure all by himself

By the time morning came

Cruel and uninvited,

As the usual promises of hope

The boy was still awoke

He had a good reason to

Either cold or hunger actually

The rain was over

Yet, as he waited for his clothes to dry

He could feel that his body couldn't take it anymore

And he would soon go on his way

Or the closest to that

That a lost person can get

He gathered his belongings

That is to say, what was still left

From all the time he gave himself away

And got up when he was ready

When he though he could

Without his legs failing him again

It was just another day

Just another ending

That he was too hopeful to take

Lucas Rangel Lima

Still in Pain

They say I am coping
With what, they don't know
They have their guesses
And as always, nothing but assumptions
My guess? Well,

I guess it's my fault

My fault for hiding, for fleeing
For not explaining what I can't understand
It's my fault for laughing, for being a friend
While hoping for something to change

They think I am taking too long
Even though they say they don't understand
They have their worries
Am I one of them?
I don't know

But it sure doesn't look so

Otherwise, I wouldn't have to hide this much
To flee from any possible harm, lose my trust
Pretend to smile, when no one is there for me
When I always have to get up on my own

If I scream, they don't know what to do
So I try not to scare them anymore
If I cry, they soon pretend nothing happened
So I try to pretend I don't mind too

I dry the tears,
They ask "What happened?"
I don't know. I am just hurting.
An hour later, it's all okay
In their eyes
They think I am coping
That it's just taking too long
I don't know
I am still hurting

I don't want to use anyone,
So I don't ask anything
Maybe I am afraid
For maybe they are there cause I look strong
Cause I seem to be trustworthy or something
I just accept any favor, lend my shoulder
So my love will be noticed in my silence

So my screams would be heard
My tears would not be ignored
When I needed
I don't know
I am still in pain

Lucas Rangel Lima

The King's Conclusion

And once again,
The king was reminded
That the happiest man
In his enormous castle
Wasn't the wise wizard
Nor the praised warrior
But the foolish pierrot
Who danced,
At his own heart's tune

While he may have all the fortune
And all his wishes at his hands
The foolish pierrot had his love
And as the simpleton he was
He held satisfaction at that

He would watch the smiles
And feel glad for bringing them to be
He would trip and fall countless times
And as the foolish pierrot he was
He would just mend his wraps
Smiling dazzling to the croud

That's why the king loved him
That's why he hated him
That's why all envied and mocked the fool
Who could just be in love
Get hurt, cry in pain
And fall again, as if nothing mattered
Just to see those smiles

It took the king time and time again
And as he concluded, he knew regret would come
For noticing what really mattered wasn't easy
To realize he couldn't give his kingdom
For that simple life
That simple way of loving
Was realizing that no gold, no power
Could bring to his heart a change
Could make him happier than the foolish

For that foolish pierrot
Knew no fear, no pain
Or at least, would soon forget about them
Would soon be up and out again
Loving, laughing, hurting and insisting
As no king,
No wizard,
No warrior
Would dare have the courage

To ever try to imitate

Lucas Rangel Lima

Another Cherished Lesson

I guess
There will never be someone
That will never hurt you
I guess there will never be a life
That you won't regret
And there will never be a love
That won't need to learn

I guess that's fair too
It's not as if we could help it
Hurting other people
It's not like all of our choices
Could have a better ending
And after all, love
Shouldn't be for ourselves right?

So, I guess a dinner would be nice
As the friends we should be
Sharing a bed a few times
Or glass of wine, a cup of tea
Be yours for a while
But not for me

I guess
Starting over is all right
No matter how you see
Not doing things different,
Just how they should be
Not expecting, just forgiving
What the other could not see

Loving thy neighbor
As you should love yourself
For maybe our own shortcomings
Were the cause of this lonely hell

I guess
I was wrong. I was weak.
I was all I blamed you for hurting
I was a blind man, and will still be
With or without a friend, I am sorry.

So, I guess at this point
We could talk, as in the past we did
We could forgive, or at least let it go
We could go deeper, or just leave it
Maybe just be memories to each other
And learn another lesson.

Another cherished lesson...

Lucas Rangel Lima

O Cofre

O minuto vira
Hora
E o sol
Num só movimento
Sobe e desce
Traz o dia e deixa a noite
Onde escorre a lagrima
Num travesseiro
Num quarto escuro
Num momento
Tao permanente
Quanto todo o passado

Sem um violão
Encostado no canto do quarto
Ele faz a musica
Calar dentro do peito
Ele cobre de mentiras
O vazio
E se lembra
É só outro dia
Ou o mesmo dia
Nada muda
Ninguém muda
Ele não aprende
Ele não entende

O mes acaba
O dinheiro
Os amigos, a risada
As cordas, as conversas
 A solidão continua
 Faz o olho arder
 O corpo tremer
 Cansar, adoecer
 Adorna a alma
 Para ninguém
 Por razão nenhuma

Como uma piada

Ele tranca o cofre
Que já tem mais memorias
Do que as que ele mesmo lembra
Ele perde outra razão para viver o amanhã
Se não o dia em que finalmente
Vai poder sumir
Ele dorme mais uma hora
Em que deveria estar sonhando
Ele se traí de olhos fechandos
Espiando o interior
Piscando devagar
Sem deixar nada transbordar

Lucas Rangel Lima

永遠にする方法

久しぶりに、彼は
懐かしくに、昔の感情を覚えた
昔のように、ただ
其の懐かしさに、笑顔を見つけた

”あるのかな？”
彼は考えた
”この気持ちを永遠にする方法？”
彼には分からなかった
どうしても時々に，どんどん強くなって
あの悲しさが彼を巻き込んで
飲み込んで
なぜ

いつも懐かしさだけでしたら
何とか我慢することができたかな
前向きに生きることとか
愛とか、夢とかさえも
見つかることができるのかな
もっとうまく探すことができるのかな

”いないのかな？”
彼は思っていた
”この悲しさを押し殺す方法？”
彼には分からなかった
酒やタバコじゃなくて、ちゃんと
もっとしっかりする方法
もっと安全な
生き方

さあ、時だけが答える
彼には、経験さえもなかったから
寂しさだけがあった
疲れだけがあった
けど

あの懐かしさに
何かがあったと
信じていた
信じて欲しかった

Lucas Rangel Lima

Shouting the Heart

That night,
He threw away his pain
And filled the empty shell left
With wild screams of longing
Cries of pleasure and ecstasy
Shouts filled with meaningless satisfaction

He shout it out loud
As if that feeling would last forever
As if he was made to love in that way
Licking the whiskey up, spilling from his lips

As if what he got from every kiss
Was his reason to live

That night,
He left himself fade away
Carried in the smoke of a cigar
He burned for a second
Like ash and whiskey
Like a feeling, like a song of love

Until the night was trough
Until the vibrations gave away
Until no kiss had any meaning once again
He let his shell be filled

In a loud melody,
Shouting everything in his heart

Lucas Rangel Lima

夜明けを待ていた嘘の歌

あの閉じてしまった目には
誰が最後に移ったのだろう
何を昔に求めていたのだろう

そして眠ることができた間に
悲しみのない夢の中でさえ
今でもどうして安らぎが見つからないのだろう

あの冷たくなった心には
誰が最後に触れ合ったのだろう
何の温もりが昔にあったのだろう

今の方がもっと優しくなったのかも
傷ついて、疲れすぎて、諦めていた後に
全てを許すことができるようになったのかも

まあ、あいつならもう知ていた
恐れだけが残したあの目には
安らぎなんて見つかるわけないって
否定されただけがあったあの心には
誰かを持って、憎むことさえも
無理でした

あいつの夢は深さや重さのない
一人ぼっちの泣き言で過ぎなかった
あいつが持っていたはずの愛も同じく
口からの優しさだけで過ぎなかった

あの少年に
あいつにあった全ては
夜明けを待ていた嘘だけであった
光に触れ合い、解けてゆく定めの嘘
その瞬間を待って、
あいつを支えていた嘘であった

それで、その瞬間の後
本当になれる機会を待っていた
ただの嘘であった

Translation: Song of a Lie that Waited for the Dawn

In those closed eyes
I wonder, who was reflected for the last time?
What was sough for in the past?

And, while he couldn't sleep
Inside his painless dreams
Why couldn't he find any peace even now?

In that heart that turned cold
I wonder, who had touched it for the last time?
What warmth did it had in the past?

Maybe it was gentler now
Too hurt, too tired, after giving up
After being made so as to forgive anything

Well, he already knew
In those eyes where only fear was left
Of course peace couldn't be found
In that heart that was only denied
Carrying someone to even hate
Was impossible

His dreams had no deepness or weight
They were just the tears of a lonely man
Like the love he was supposed to carry
Everything was just lip-service gentleness

To that boy
Everything that was inside of him
Were just lies waiting for the dawn to come
Fated to melt away with the light, nothing but lies
Waiting for that moment
While supporting him

And then, in that moment,
Waiting for the chance to turn into the truth
They were just lies

Lucas Rangel Lima

月がない夜空

彼はいつも通りに

何もなかった日の後

眠ることができなかった

彼は病気じゃなかったけど

その魂は死んだように見えた

彼は平気な顔をしてたけど

その裏は苦しくて、寂しくて

まるで月がない夜空だった

深い、果てしのない闇のように

全ての光を飲み込むように

嵐の雲や星の光さえも

その空っぽの空を満たされることができない

けど彼には，月がなくっても

夜空が好きだった

一人でいたっても

美しく見えた

寒くても、暗くても

彼は信じていた

彼は知ってた

たとえ月がなくても

夜空にはいつか

きっと太陽が上る時が来る 

Translation: Moonless Night Sky

As always he was,
After an eventless day,
Unable to sleep

He wasn't sick, but
His soul looked like it could be dead
He looked just fine, but
Inside he felt so painful, so lonely

As a moonless night sky

A deep, endless darkness
Engulfing all light,
Even the storm clouds and the stars
Couldn't fill the emptiness of that sky

But even with no moon
He liked the night sky
Even by himself
He thought it was beautiful

No matter the coldness, the darkness
He still believed
He knew

Even with no moon
In that night sky
The sun would surely come

Lucas Rangel Lima