They say I am coping
With what, they don't know
They have their guesses
And as always, nothing but assumptions
My guess? Well,
I guess it's my fault
My fault for hiding, for fleeing
For not explaining what I can't understand
It's my fault for laughing, for being a friend
While hoping for something to change
They think I am taking too long
Even though they say they don't understand
They have their worries
Am I one of them?
I don't know
But it sure doesn't look so
Otherwise, I wouldn't have to hide this much
To flee from any possible harm, lose my trust
Pretend to smile, when no one is there for me
When I always have to get up on my own
If I scream, they don't know what to do
So I try not to scare them anymore
If I cry, they soon pretend nothing happened
So I try to pretend I don't mind too
I dry the tears,
They ask "What happened?"
I don't know. I am just hurting.
An hour later, it's all okay
In their eyes
They think I am coping
That it's just taking too long
I don't know
I am still hurting
I don't want to use anyone,
So I don't ask anything
Maybe I am afraid
For maybe they are there cause I look strong
Cause I seem to be trustworthy or something
I just accept any favor, lend my shoulder
So my love will be noticed in my silence
So my screams would be heard
My tears would not be ignored
When I needed
I don't know
I am still in pain
Lucas Rangel Lima
